Pockmarks Are Dimples: Japanese Proverbs and Idioms About Love, Family, and Friendship

Someone for Everyone

Love can be forgiving in Japanese sayings, although that does not mean it will always last forever.

あばたもえくぼ — Abata mo ekubo. According to the old saying “even pockmarks are dimples,” as someone who is smitten can see marks or scars, perhaps left by smallpox, as cute facial features. Those in love look favorably on what others might see as flaws.

割れ鍋に綴じ蓋 — Warenabe ni tojibuta. There is someone out there for everyone, just as there is “a perfect lid for any cracked pot.”

縁は異なもの味なもの — En wa i na mono aji na mono. Roughly, “love is a strange and fascinating thing.” Here, en, the mysterious force that brings people together romantically, is translated simply as “love.”

秋風が立つ — Akikaze ga tatsu. When “an autumn wind blows,” the chill air means that affections are waning. This is associated with common word play between aki (autumn) and akiru (to lose interest).

Like Parent, Like Child?

Opinions are split on whether children are like their parents, while other sayings consider how parents influence their children’s lives.

蛙の子は蛙 — Kaeru no ko wa kaeru. “A frog’s child is a frog,” according to one view, as children resemble their parents in character and ability, and take the same path through life. The proverb is used particularly to say that ordinary people will not have extraordinary offspring.

瓜の蔓に茄子はならぬ — Uri no tsuru ni nasu wa naranu. Similarly, “eggplants don’t grow on gourd vines,” with the same association with predictable traits.

鳶が鷹を生む — Tobi ga taka o umu. However, “a kite gives birth to a hawk” goes against the two previous sayings by imagining an outstanding child of an ordinary parent; here the hawk is seen as superior to the kite.

親の光は七光 — Oya no hikari wa nana hikari. “A parent’s light is seven lights” is a way of saying that if a parent has a high social position or is famous, it is a great help to the child in achieving success, with the “seven lights” representing the many benefits available to the child. The phrase may be seen in the shortened form oya no nana hikari, or “a parent’s seven lights.”

可愛い子には旅をさせよ — Kawaii ko ni wa tabi o saseyo. “Send a beloved child on a journey” is a proverb offering parental advice. It suggests that rather than pampering children at home, it is better to send them out to travel so that they experience the harshness of the world, and thereby grow.

Turning Red

The last set of sayings covers friendship, including how such relationships come about, and how they shape us.

類は友を呼ぶ — Rui wa tomo o yobu. Deriving from the Yijing (Book of Changes), this phrase is awkward to translate directly, but means something like “birds of a feather flock together.” It suggests that people with similar likes or interests naturally become friends with each other. It may be used positively—or sometimes negatively, for those with undesirable shared qualities.

朱に交われば赤くなる — Shu ni majiwareba akaku naru. “Mix with vermilion and you turn red” focuses on how friends influence each other. Again, this could be seen as a good thing if the friends are nice people, or bad if someone falls in with the wrong crowd.

竹馬の友 — Chikuba no tomo. “Bamboo horse friends” is used to describe buddies who have been close since the childhood days when they played together with toy horses made from bamboo.

(Originally written in English. Banner image © Pixta.)